Children Experiencing Violence At Home
      • Learn to expect humiliation, disrespect and violence in close relationships
      • Learn to use violence as a problem-solver and as a way to control others
      • Learn to get their needs met by using threats and intimidation
      • Learn to blame others for their problems and actions
      • Learn poor communication skills
      • Do not learn to express anger without being cruel and abusive
      • Do not develop healthy self-esteem
      • Become isolated because they are unable to trust others
      • Take on adult roles by separating fighting parents, protecting and defending the abused parent, or parenting and protecting younger siblings
      • Develop physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, ulcers, stuttering, bed wetting, sleep and eating disorders
      • Feel guilty because they feel that they violence is their fault – try to be “extra good” so it won’t happen again.
      • Feel alone and that their world is out of control
      • Feel powerless because they can’t stop the abuse
      • May experience long-term depression and flashbacks of the violent episodes they have witnessed
      • Copy by withdrawing and denying, or abusing alcohol and drugs
      • Live in constant fear
Children Living in Violent Households

0-1 YEAR OLDS

WAYS OF BEING DRAWN IN

      • Seeing it
      • Hearing it
      • Being awakened by it
      • Being injured by it
      • Being ripped from mother’s arms
      • Having toys broken
      • Being born prematurely
      • Being hit while in mom’s arms
      • Being thrown
EFFECTS OF ABUSE

      • Physical injury
      • Death
      • Fright
      • Being traumatized by it
      • Sleep disturbances
      • Eating disturbances
      • Being colicky or sick
      • Insecurity because of being cared for by a traumatized mom
      • Not responsive or cuddly

2-4 YEAR OLDS

WAYS OF BEING DRAWN IN

      • Seeing it
      • Hearing it
      • Trying to stop altercation
      • Becoming abused themselves
      • Being used as a physical weapon against the victim
      • Being interrogated by perpetrator about victims activities
      • Being held hostage by perpetrator
EFFECTS OF ABUSE

      • Acting out violently
      • Withdrawal
      • Trouble with other kids
      • Delayed toileting
      • Eating problems
      • Nervous, jumpy
      • Sleep¬†problems
      • Insecurity, fear and Depression

5-12 YEAR OLDS

WAYS OF BEING DRAWN IN

      • Seeing & hearing it
      • Picking 1 parent to defend
      • Physically intervening
      • Calling the police
      • Running to neighbors for help
      • Being used as a spy against Mom
      • Forced to participate in attack on Mom
      • Being physically or sexually abused to control Mom
      • Being restricted from contact with others
EFFECTS OF ABUSE

      • Fear & insecurity
      • Low self esteem
      • Withdrawal/depression
      • Running away
      • Early drug/alcohol use
      • School problems
      • Bedwetting
      • Sexual activity
      • Becoming caretaker of adults
      • Being embarrassed by one’s family
Effects of Domestic Violence on Older Children

TEENS (BOYS & GIRLS)

WAYS OF BEING DRAWN IN

      • Killing/trying to kill perpetrator
      • Trying to stop the abuse
      • Hitting parent or siblings
      • Becoming physically abused
      • Being used as a spy
      • Being used as a confidante
      • Being coerced by perpetrator to be abusive to mom
EFFECTS OF ABUSE

      • School problems
      • Social problems
      • Sexual activity
      • Shamed & embarrassed
      • Truancy
      • Superachiever at school
      • Tendency to get serious relationships too early to escape home
      • Depression
      • Suicide
      • Alcohol/drug use
      • Confusion about gender roles
EFFECTS SPECIFIC TO BOYS ONLY

      • Learning that males are violent
      • Learning to disrespect women
      • Using violence in his own relationships
      • Confusion or insecurity about being a man
      • Attacking parents or siblings
EFFECTS SPECIFIC TO GIRLS ONLY

      • Learning that male violence is normal
      • Learning that women don’t get respect
      • Accepting violence in her own relationships
      • Embarrassed about being female
      • Becoming pregnant